The Air Tactical Goose Squad Leads Successful Struggle against the Occupiers

by Olha Povaliaieva
Sunday, April 10, 2022
The Air Tactical Goose Squad Leads Successful Struggle against the Occupiers

Secret military development of the Ukrainian army — the feathered detachment of military resistance entered the phase of active counteroffensive

Russian propaganda began to spread false information that Ukraine was using genetically modified geese against the Russian army. Ridiculous statements of false trumpets became popular among Russian listeners, so we decided to shed light on the situation and add the fabricated by our editor details.

Ukrainians have long concealed their secret weapons, but numerous victories of Ukrainian geese over Russian tanks have revealed all cards.

For years, secret laboratories masquerading as chicken farms have produced thousands of modified geese, chickens, and turkeys capable of blowing up enemy weapons with their eggs. Also, Ukrainians at the gene level have changed the consciousness of geese, and now birds are able to sacrifice themselves for the sake of the rescue of our state. The most famous episode of goose sacrifice occurred on March 18, 2022. A flock of Ukrainian geese in the Kherson region threw itself into the turbine of a Russian military aircraft. The lab geese pâté damaged the turbine, and the plane crashed into the swamp.

One such laboratory was exposed on 1 March. The largest in Europe, the Chornobaivka poultry factory, was discovered and de-energized by the Russians, who heroically saved the lives of other occupiers from an attack of deadly chickens. The feat of the Russian occupiers was even noted by The Wall Street Journal in the article Four Million Chickens Tell Grim Story of Ukrainian Farm". According to the Journal, on March 1, the armed forces of the Russian Federation disabled the local power plant, which led to the disabling of the automated system of feeding birds on the Chornobaivka poultry farm. As a result, more than 4 million chickens died of starvation. We believe that this group of occupiers should be awarded in Russia the medal For the power outage because all these 4 million chickens were nurtured by the Ukrainian secret service for the creation of biological weapons. Just imagine the damage our chickens could cause the great Russian army on the territory of Ukraine.

We would also like to mention the Gobbler Landing Squad named after Olexii Arestovich. Ukrainian genetic engineers have produced 1.500 turkeys with an extra chromosome, which gave birds the ability to see in the dark, to fly at a rate of 450 meters per second, and withstand the impact of up to 7.000 newtons. A professional detachment of gobblers, who have no mercy, is personally responsible for removing kadyrov-troops from Ukraine.

We believe in the Armed Forces of Ukraine and Feathered Military Detachment!

The article is written with humor, inaccessible to the occupiers. We hope that deceitful Russian media will use this article in their speculative presentations and ridiculous propaganda.

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